vegan pizza collective zine

so i've been talking a lot about doing this, and today i've been pushing myself to get it done.

man, i am out of practice writing anything of any length, and it shows. oof.

on the other hand, this is the best household i've had for a long time.

given that it's easy to complain all the time, i like to remind myself of things i'm actually happy about and keep myself appreciating things i used to pine for. i hated living so far outside the city, and being able to walk five minutes each way to a fun show at a cool diy space is something i shouldn't just take for granted.

there's brewing i should be doing, but i feel like i shouldn't distract myself from getting more work done on the zine.


i think in a lot of ways, going to a party by yourself is a good barometer of who you are as a human being. based on tonight's experience, i think i am a lot more grown up and emotionally mature than i give myself credit for, which i would do well to remember in daylight hours. that and part of being awesome is believing that you are awesome. i was thinking a few weeks ago that i have a lot of qualities of a natural leader that i've done absolutely fuck all with in the past couple years, out of a general misanthrophy that has led to me storming off from people in general. maybe what i'm feeling is the gestating of something awesome. i don't know. i can only hope. even being able to say "i can only hope" is such a foreign concept to me that i think my own capacity for hope may be it's own gift. i don't think i need hope, but it would nice for it not to be a total luxury like civet shit coffee or something like that. i am unexpectedly feeling good about life right now. how novel.

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i feel like whatever inhabits the dining room at 22 goodale street in peabody may have strongly shaped my attitudes to the supernatural in general, which is that it deserves a good hard stare, like a bully or a frat boy*. this is coming from my conversation tonight in my favorite bar in allston, ringer park. which also included long talks about soviet history. yet no jake carman, although he would have loved it. too much housing crap going on, and too many nights on almost no sleep. steel reserve on a summer night is comforting nostalgia, even for a professional beer snob.

* is it bad that my gut reaction to "i keep hearing chair scrapings from my upstairs apartment that i know to be empty that someone hung themselves in and i know it's the sound of the chair getting kicked away" is to thump on the ceiling with a broom and yell "keep it down up there, some of us are trying to sleep" like any other annoying neighbor, living or dead?

also, i enjoy the neighborhood i live in because frequent loud barbecues with loud brazilian pop music and the occasional freakout when brasil is in the world cup make my occasional too loud electric guitar noises much less likely to make anyone call in a noise complaint.

so there's a "taste of allston" food festival. i didn't think pbr and despair made for all that great of a taste combination myself, but that may have had something to do with my move across the river.

this is the anecdotally worst boston housing market i've seen. almost no one is looking for a room, and a ton of people are looking for roommates. hanging out with friends is like a constant game of chicken.

i saw inception. it was ok. imax is something i'm not all that taken by. woah, every seat is the fourth row can be had by sitting in the fourth row for 1/3 less money. and the damn ads and previews shouldn't be so loud i'm almost going for my earplugs. not to sound like r crumb or nothing.

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i came across this quote, and it seems like one of the best responses to the really ugly nihilist strain of postmodernism that's never sat very well with me. the whole "there are no new ideas, so why should we bother to make art or organize, let's just do piles of coke instead" bullshit i never liked.

"For every fifty year old that says 'There's nothing new under the sun', or every thirty year old who says 'There's nothing new under the sun', there's some twenty year old who's experiencing it for the first time. The problem with 'There's nothing new under the sun' is that it only works if everyone is born and dies at the same time. We have this birth/death, life/birth, death/life thing going on all the time. So that means that somebody's just figuring it out.

Somebody, right now, is just about to get his or her heart broken for the first time. Somebody, right now, is just about to kiss somebody for the first time. Somebody, right now, is about to get his or her first kitten. This is new stuff. Somebody, about a month from now, is about to walk to school for the first time. Somebody, right now, is about to become a mother. That mother wants to hear a song about hope and joy for her, and the future of her child. She doesn't mind if it's been sung a million times before, but it needs to be a new song for her time and her perspective."

Tia Sillers

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also, seriously, it's been over a year or so since i've posted, but 200+ entries back, and just groups, and no posts from actual people on my friends list?

is not being on facebook really this big of a deal?

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allston, alcohol, and morrissey are all unyielding lenses that don't change nearly as much as you do. take as needed.

also funny: friends 10 years or so younger, that are family, that you've looked after, having younger girlfriends more responsible than they are, and drunkenly laughing and laughing and laughing and telling said friend's significant other "ha ha ha, now you have my old job".

or when your friend's band's gear is behind gear of berklee band who is not on the bill, repeatedly offering them a knife and saying, dude, whatever, just get your gear back, those kids won't say shit.

evaporative cooling and lagers are hopefully go.

someone find me old time musicians, who are punks, anarchists, or both. i can find the old time musicans, but having to explain yourself less is a godsend.

all the ethiopians are surprised i know what tullah is.